1) When you've got something planned for it, the weekend is always rained out.
                     
2) The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.

3) The product you are most embarassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
             
4) The original will be found when a replacement is bought.

5) When you have a deadline, the printer always breaks down.

6) When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.

7) Check-out time is always two hours before you wake up.

8) America Online is always busy when you want to log on.

9) Instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.

10) After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.

11) Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'